How a Simple Personal Touch Can Flip Any Email Negotiation

Experience has taught me that negotiations are best accomplished in face-to-face settings, followed by video (Zoom), then text and finally email. Unfortunately, in today’s hybrid and remote business world, negotiating via email has become increasingly commonplace.

But did you know that email negotiations are significantly more prone to failure?

A landmark study, Long and Short Routes to Success in Electronically Mediated Negotiations revealed a striking insight: when negotiators interacted strictly over email without any personal exchange, 29% of negotiations ended in a deadlock.

Why?

Because email strips away all the human cues, tone, body language, and facial expressions, that help build trust and understanding.

But here’s the twist:

One Small Shift Reduced Deadlocks by 80%

In the study, there were three groups;

• The first was instructed to begin negotiating immediately.
• A second group of negotiators knew they were from the same organization as their counterparts.
• Although from different organizations, the third group was instructed to exchange a few pieces of personal information, including their hobbies, backgrounds, and favorite foods.

The results were significant. The first group deadlocked 29% of the negotiations.

Having the same organization in common or the simple act of self-disclosure slashed the failure rate from 29% to just 5%.

95% of the groups with shared interests or connections reached a deal.

Why It Works: The Principle of Liking

This strategy taps into a psychological truth:

We’re more likely to say yes to people we like, and we like those who are like us.

When negotiators uncovered small similarities (“We’re from the same organization!” “You’re an only child? Me too!” or “You love Korean BBQ? Same!”), rapport was built, trust increased, and mutually beneficial deals followed.

5 Quick Tips for Successful Email Negotiations

Whether you’re closing a deal or proposing a collaboration, try these:

1. Start with small talk – Share a few personal details or ask open-ended questions before diving into business.
2. Find common ground – Look for shared interests or experiences to build rapport.
3. Avoid the cold open – Skipping pleasantries may save time but increases the chance of miscommunication.
4. Use a warm tone and emojis sparingly – even a or “Thanks again!” can make a significant difference in tone.
5. Remember: It’s not just business, it’s personal – Especially when done through a screen.

Here’s a sample email to consider:

Negotiating Virtually? Build Connection First.

In a world where screens mediate our interactions, we must bring intentionality to building rapport. Whether you’re a consultant, manager, entrepreneur, or team lead, this study is a powerful reminder:

BEFORE YOU NEGOTIATE, HUMANIZE.

Related: Breaking Through the Deadlock: Proven Strategies for Negotiation Breakthroughs