Changing the order of a few words made all the difference
My friend Marcus is in software sales. He came to me recently with a negotiation problem he encountered and was asking for some advice on breaking a deadlock.
He had been working with a global manufacturing firm for months, guiding them through the implementation of his company’s software analytics platform. After several rounds of discussions, technical demos, and stakeholder meetings, everything was in place—budget, timelines, even executive sponsorship.
But now, seated across the procurement team in an austere meeting room, things had ground to a halt. The final contract included a one-time onboarding fee, and the lead negotiator, Claire, wasn’t budging.
Marcus could tell they valued the relationship and were serious buyers. But they had drawn a line in the sand.
I asked Marcus a few questions:
“Have they already agreed this solution is what they need?”
“Yes,” he said. “They’ve even told me it aligns with the way they work.”
“Have other similar clients accepted this onboarding fee?”
“Absolutely,” Marcus nodded. “It’s standard, and we’re upfront about it.”
“Have you shown appreciation for their cooperation so far?”
“I thanked them earlier today.”
“Great,” I said. “Now, it’s time to change one thing—how you present the final step.”
Here’s what I suggested:
Instead of saying:
“If you agree to this final term, we’ll have a deal.”
Say this:
“We have a deal. Most of our clients said yes at this point. All that’s left is your go-ahead on the onboarding term.”
“This onboarding process helps our clients get results from day one. In fact, many of our new customers have said the same thing—they had reservations at first, but they told us afterward that it saved them weeks.”
This small shift activates powerful influence principles*:
- Scarcity: Implies the deal is already theirs—something to lose if they don’t act.
- Social Proof: References other respected companies who’ve said yes.
- Consistency: Builds on their earlier verbal commitments and values.
- Authority: Reinforces industry-standard structure.
- Liking: He first thanked them, maintaining rapport.
- Reciprocity: They received tailored demos and support—this is the fair next step.
Two days later, Marcus called back: “It worked. They signed. No more back-and-forth.”
This approach is backed by behavioral science. As Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman discovered, people are far more motivated to avoid a loss than to seek a similar gain.
I’m confident that this strategy will increase your chances of a successful negotiation, whether for business or personal reasons.
Related: Always Ask First: The Rule James Forgot in Deal-Making