Written by: Karen Dorsey
Did you know that those in the legal field call January “divorce month?” Some reports say that divorce filings in January rise by up to 30%! For many, the new year may remind us that we need a fresh start. And after the unprecedented year we’ve experienced, a fresh start is what we all desire.
What Were The Holidays Like For You?
Was it a great time that brought you joy and peace of mind? Did anything really change with your spouse and it’s made you think that maybe this heartbreaking event isn’t going to happen?
We always hope for the very best for you and never advocate for divorce. So if there was a shift and you won’t be divorcing now, we’re truly so happy for you and your family. But if nothing really changed, then the truth is the holidays didn’t really change anything for you and your spouse. That’s why attorneys say January is the “divorce month” with the most divorce filings.
As much as you might’ve hoped and prayed something would change, often times it doesn’t. And here’s the thing. If you’ve been putting things off, because you’re sad, afraid and anxious about the future, you’re just human. And the year we’ve had in 2020 may have led you to wait longer even when you know what is inevitable for you.
You Deserve The Best
The longer you stay stuck in your fears and anxiety, the easier it is for others to take control of your divorce and this can leave you in a totally vulnerable position without the information and resources you’re going to need. We don’t want that for you – you deserve to get the best support and the best settlement agreement now.
It really doesn’t make any difference if you’ve been married 5, 10, 20, 30 or 40 years – this will be hard. It’s time to honor yourself and keep in mind that life is going to continue to happen around you. What is the story you’re telling yourself about why you can’t do this? Here are some tips that we hope will help you to take even a small step to move forward:
The Divorce Puzzle
How could you possibly know all of the pieces to the divorce puzzle? So many smart individuals I’ve spoken with tell me they had no idea what they were doing when they went through their divorce. How would you know? No one plans this or teaches us how to do this. We don’t know what we don’t know. Sure, you can ask your friends and family, but they care about you and are going to tell you what they believe is right for you.
Although it’s fine to access general information on the internet, there is a risk that the information is outdated or just not accurate. No one knows what your exact situation is going to entail, and that’s why having a team of professionals to answer your questions is critical.
Again, every single divorce is different and exploring what the key elements are for you is critical in not making costly mistakes that so many smart people make.
Where Do You Even Start?
It’s so hard to think about everything, isn’t it? Many individuals start with hiring an attorney FIRST. Unfortunately, that is NOT always your first best step. If you’ve already done that, please don’t feel badly about it. I did that exact thing! But take a step back now, and don’t make costly mistakes anymore. Start with getting a notebook or journal and begin writing down all the questions you have. Determine if they are legal, financial, child custody, or personal questions. Each day, take one action to find out the answer to a question or concern. This will get you started and can help relieve the anxiety and stress you’re probably feeling.
What Do You Want?
How long have you been taking care of others in your life – your spouse, your children, your own parents? It’s time to consider what you want and need and deserve for yourself now. Retreating and trying to do it alone because of fear, embarrassment, shame or depression will not allow you the joy and peace of mind you deserve. Those who try to do this without a team of professionals including a coach or therapist will find the challenges they’re facing overwhelming and the results disappointing and regretful.
You Don’t Need To Be Alone
Whether you decide to move forward this month or this year, please don’t do it alone. We are here to help you do divorce differently. Call us today and schedule your complimentary call and let’s talk about what you’re going to be facing. We can help you to create a plan that will give you the confidence and peace of mind so that you can move forward to the wonderful next chapter in your life that you deserve!