There is a technical side to what I do, which I love. I can run projections, talk assumptions and do a mean future retirement projection on a financial calculator. I’m a nerd that likes these things. However, there’s also an emotional and behavioral side of what I do, and after months of anxious (and sometimes tearful) conversations, questions and e-mails, I felt it was time to share a loving kick-in-the-pants message when it comes to your finances.
A Love Letter from Your Finances:
I know that life isn’t easy. I see the many responsibilities and priorities you have tugging at your heart and at me, all vying for a piece of the pot. I’m aware of how overwhelming it can be to deal with me no matter how much or how little you have.
I know you didn’t learn about me in school and I’m sorry for that. I wish you had.
I’m sorry if the events that happened in your life taught you to fear me, ignore me, to use me as a weapon, an addiction, a substitute or anything other than the tool I am to be leveraged in bringing you happiness.
I understand it’s hard to figure out what to do with me and what direction to go in.
I’m fully aware of the stress, the grief, the fights, the unease and the discomfort I can cause in your life. Please know that’s not my intention.
It breaks me to see the countless hours you spend scrolling through social media, never leaving feeling satisfied, but instead questioning your goals and your worth.
It’s tough to watch you play the comparison game over and over again, always wishing for what someone else has, but not knowing their full story.
It hurts to watch you work so hard to bring me in only to in turn trade my worth for possessions or items you believe will fix your problems or bring happiness, which ultimately don’t.
Listening to the stories you tell yourself about money is heart-wrenching.
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I’ll never have enough.”
“I don’t deserve this.”
“It’s not that important.”
“I’ll never be comfortable with this.”
“I’m greedy if I don’t help others first.”
“I’m a mess…”
“No matter how hard I work, it’s never enough.”
These messages will shape your relationship with me for years into the future. They’ll impact your friendships. They’ll influence your family. Your children will take cues from you and carry your messages on with them.
Is this what you want?
I’m not here to make your life difficult. I’m not here to cause you strife. I’m not even here to complicate or “mess” things up.
I’m here to bring you happiness. I’m here to bring you confidence. I’m here so that you can use me towards the things that truly matter in your life.
I’m not something to be wasted on miniscule items or impulse purchases. I’m not something to ignore or sweep under the rug. I am certainly not something you should count on someone else to take care of for you.
You need to nurture me so that I in turn can nurture you.
My mission is to give you a life you love.
There is no magic involved in dealing with me. It takes work. You need to focus. You need to shut out distractions. You need to stop giving a damn what everyone else is doing and start caring about what you’re doing, about the values in your life, about the things that are of most importance to you.
Forget all of the noise, all of the headlines, all of the news, the social media posts, the billboards, the magazines and everything else that is attempting to tell you the kind of life you want or need.
Turn inward and think about what matters most to you. Write it down. Carry it with you.
Ask yourself how you can use me to create genuine happiness in your life and also ask what you’re willing to give up to make that happen.
I can’t deliver everything to you. There is work and prioritization and sacrifice involved in dealing with me. It can be hard. However, when you get through it, it is so, so worth it.
Related: Relationships & Money: 6 Stories to Share With Your New Partner
I’ve spent countless years watching the emotional roller coaster you’re on with me and we’ve reached the point of “enough.”
Enough with the comparing.
Enough with the complaining.
Enough with the self-sabotaging.
Enough with the excuses.
Enough with the ignoring.
Enough with the hiding.
Enough with the guilt.
Enough with the lies.
Enough with the putting yourself last.
Enough with the distractions.
It’s time.
Time to focus.
Time to prioritize.
Time to do the work.
Time to reflect.
Time to plan. To really, really plan.
Time to stop spinning.
Time to communicate.
Time to read, research and ask questions.
Time to look out for you.
Time to stop pointing fingers.
Time to stop scrolling.
It’s time to deal with me once and for all.
I am a permanent part of your life and existence. There is no getting rid of me. If we are going to have a partnership, shouldn’t it be a healthy one?
My mission is to give you a life you love.
You deserve this and I can’t do it without you.
Love,
Your Finances.