Written by: Souki Fournier
As the world readies to celebrate Valentine’s Day in the age of quarantine, we can’t help but reflect on the meaning of love. Some perceive it as the purest and most sincere emotion you can feel, others see it as a sign of a deeply committed connection. We spend our lives chasing it, make sacrifices to keep it, and dread letting it go.
What if love was simply a behavior? An inherent, teachable, undeniable behavior. How different would our perception be?
Behavior vs Feeling
Raise your hand if you use the word love to describe a feeling at least 5 times a day. You love your local football team, you also love that restaurant you ate at once, and you probably love your job. Now, before you say that there’s nothing wrong with using the word love to express your feelings, allow me to bring to your attention that it is my point exactly; it is a feeling not a state of love.
Should you be open to the thought, if we went ahead and considered love as a behavior rather than a feeling, you would be able to unlock a much deeper connection with your loved ones.
Making a Case for Love
Although love is considered to be a universal language, every person is different in the way they express it. Your partner’s love language might be making you coffee every single morning, your mother’s love language could be cooking you food and trying to feed you every time she sees you, etc. The reason why you know for sure that they love you is because they behave in that regard. When someone behaves lovingly towards you, that means they love you. Our lives are governed by our behaviors and those of others, so the advantage of thinking of love as a behavior rather than a feeling is to empower you and give you more assurance in the decisions that you make every day. Especially those based on love.
Works of Love
Perceiving love as a behavior rather than a feeling can also have its advantages in the workspace. Here at DNA Behavior, we are strong advocates of our Natural Discovery process. It is the most effective method to uncover our behavioral styles and pinpoint particular traits that rule the way we communicate, invest, work, and live. Once you are able to understand your team at a much deeper level, you can predict what motivates them, engages them, and challenges them. Understanding your behavior and that of others enables you to better express your love, support, and appreciation. You see, as human beings, we are on a never-ending quest to find love. Not only in the traditional sense of the word, but also at work. Embracing the power of behavior can enhance your life tremendously on both personal and professional levels.
Although this year’s Valentine’s Day coincides with a world drenched in a state of a global pandemic, it still is an opportunity for us to reflect on what love truly means to us. We believe that through behavioral coaching, and scientifically validated behavioral discovery, you can move forward and redefine the behavior of love.