Here’s a quiz question for you: When is it time to talk to others about what you really feel about a conversation with a client? An easy answer would be when the client leaves the room.
Having been on the wrong side of that answer on multiple occasions, I’m definitely not in agreement with that easy answer. It’s embarrassing to admit how many times I’ve been with a colleague who thought the coast was clear, and launched into a rather loud and vocal response about what they really thought of that conversation! It’s uncanny how often the individual or client materializes from nowhere, allowing them to hear things they definitely were not supposed to hear. We never know exactly how much they’ve heard, but they are rarely smiling when they do. Not only does it have a direct, negative impact on the connection you worked so hard to make, but it also makes for an awkward couple of moments.
How about when you get in the elevator, and those elevator doors close? Can you talk openly to your colleague now? That would be a – no. I was with a colleague of mine who came to watch me put on a workshop, and I had specifically asked for him to not to say anything about my workshop, or the audience, until we were clear of the building. When the elevator doors closed, he had some not so nice things to say about the client, and he was speaking in a rather loud voice. Unfortunately, he was speaking so loudly we didn’t notice the elevator had never actually moved and was just sitting there. Twenty seconds into this particular diatribe, the elevator doors reopened. My client was standing right in front of us. I’m not sure how much he heard, but strangely enough, he wasn’t smiling.
Once in the cab or Uber; surely we’re safe at this point! Sorry, I need to give this one a big, fat – no-eeew! Chicago, 2005. I’m speaking at a big meeting with a casual friend who really wanted to see me deliver a seminar. This person was unusually outspoken so begrudgingly I agreed to let her to attend under one condition. She was not to comment about the seminar, or my client, or ask me any questions whatsoever until we were in the cab. While we waited for the cab driver to finish loading the bags, my outspoken friend wasted no times mocking the audience and the senior manager of the company. The same senior manager who hired me. The windows were open, and on cue, as if to materialize from nowhere, in my peripheral vision there stood that senior manager. I don’t know exactly how much he heard, and although I left him inside smiling, he wasn’t smiling now. He looked both hurt and angry, mumbled he enjoyed the presentation, and left quickly. Oh, and we never did business again.
Ladies and gentlemen, ask me when is it time to talk to others about how you really feel about a conversation with a client, and I have two answers: If you feel a burning need to talk about a meeting, or a conversation you’ve had with others, I’m going to suggest the one block rule. If what needs to be said is so darn important, then once you are out of the office, out of the elevator, out of the building, in the cab, and one block away, you can launch into your diatribes and have your discussions!
My second suggestion is to avoid having the conversation at all. Remember, I’ve been using the word “diatribe” for a reason. I’m not referring to positive conversations about our clients or ourselves. A diatribe is usually angry, or critical, or bitter about someone or something. Clearly, some situations are easier than others, but not only would I prefer not to criticize or speak unkindly about my clients a block away; I’d prefer not to do it at all.
Related: Persistent or Pushy?