Trending
The logic is pretty simple. If you want to build a HNW clientele, you need to meet HNW people and gradually convert some into being clients. You want introductions from your HNW clients to their HNW friends. Since they entertain, getting invited to the right parties is one way to meet these people. How might you do it?
Have you seen the TV series: “Feud: Capote and the Swans?” It ran a couple of years ago on Hulo along with the FX cable network. It follows the story of Truman Capote’s rise and fall in New York’s high society, largely set in the 1950’s and ‘60’s. If you ever wondered what the expression “Ladies who lunch” means, this gives you a good idea.
Truman Capote is nowhere near as rich as the people he cultivates, but he gets plenty of invitations to lunches, dinners and weekends away. What can we learn from the series?
1. Look like you belong. Everyone dresses well in the series. If you are spending time with HNW clients, friends or acquaintances, dress as well or better than them. You want them to size you up and determine “You fit in.”
2. One relationship can cultivate other relationships. Your current HNW clients can get you access to their world, especially through paid events like charity galas. These cost money, but you will likely be seated with them. Now you are at the table with other HNW individuals.
3. Be seen in the right places. Plenty of action in the series takes place at the iconic New York restaurant, La Cote Basque. It is no longer open, but the space is now occupied by Benoit NY, one of Michelin starred chef Alain Ducasse’s many restaurants worldwide. That’s just as good. In one episode, when there is a scene at the table where a patron at another table walks over and throws a glass of wine at Truman Capote, we learn people interact! Someone remarks they keep the restaurant in business because people come to people watch. You should become a familiar face in the see and be seen places.
4. Be ready to accept invitations. Don’t wait to see if a better offer comes along. Sometimes hosts have a last minute cancellation. Other times, as in the series, one HNW person tells another HNW person, “You really need to include this guy.” The invitation is given. When opportunity knocks, be quick to open the door.
5. Be a good storyteller. When people organize dinner parties, they want to put together a group of interesting, lively people. You do not want to dominate the conversation, but you want to contribute enough so the host determines you were a good addition and should be invited back. Don’t be a wallflower.
6. Be a subject matter expert. You don’t need to know about everything, one subject is enough. You have information others do not. They learn something new when you are around. This is information others don’t know. Your expertise likely centers around money. Making it through investments and holding onto it.
7. Have a sense of humor. Everyone might be serious at work, but they like to laugh. This is especially true in their down time, when they are relaxing. This ties into telling a good story. If you get them laughing, you keep them entertained.
8. Have opinions. You do not need to have one on every subject, but you should have topics about which you feel strongly. Be able to make a compelling case why you feel that way. You should also be open to hearing other people’s opinions and accepting their point of view.
Let us add a couple having nothing to do with the series.
9. Never arrive empty handed. It’s a sign of respect to bring a house gift then you visit someone’s house for a party or a meal. You are acknowledging their generosity.
10. Send a thank you note afterwards. You might think sending handwritten notes by surface mail is dead. Cartier, Tiffany and Smythson all sell notepaper. Go figure. Sending a thank you note speaks to good breeding.
11. Reciprocate. Do not be a “professional party guest” who is always ready to accept an invitation but never invites the host out. If entertaining at home is impractical, go out to restaurants with people. You want to show you are acknowledging their generosity.
It takes time, but you should be able to work your way into the right circles. People will get to know you. People often do business with people they like.