Is Anyone Even Listening?

Have you ever met someone and, after they introduced themselves, you forgot their name within seconds? Why does this happen? Why does so much information go in one ear and out the other? Are we at capacity and simply cannot retain any more data? Or are we too distracted thinking about what we’ve going to say next? Why are we not listening to each other?

"People don't listen to understand.  They listen to reply.  The collective monologue is everyone talking and no one listening."  - Stephen R.Covey

Listening is key for communication and building positive relationships—both personally and professionally. When we improve listening, we improve our interpersonal connections and our collaboration skills. 

When it comes to getting others to listen to you, think about how you are presenting the information and how you want it to be received. Consider factors like timing, delivery, and environment. When, where, and how are you telling someone something? In general, the audience, whether on the Internet or in person, forms perceptions of a presentation in the first 90 seconds—that gives you a small window to capture their attention and make a good impression. Environmental issues can be the most ignored factor in communication. For example, if you’re giving a presentation in a room that’s too hot or has a lot of distractions, your audience is less likely to retain what you say.

Comic of a bear talking to a duck.  Bear says "I need you to listen to me."  Duck  answers "I can make it look like I'm doing that."

Additionally, when we engage others genuinely, they are naturally more inclined to pay attention. Too often we underestimate the power of a smile, a kind word, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. The most effective tool to enhance listening that I use is the “out of the box” approach of “FOOD WORKS.” Fruit and penny candy are truly unheralded aids in making a great presentation.

Here are some specific suggestions to help improve our own listening as well as get others to effectively listen to us: 

Have a clear focus especially with regard to goals. Time frame, perceptions, quantity versus quality, topic, and especially the sharing of goals can critically affect listening. Providing an outline is helpful so people can see what will be covered and can easily follow along.

Don’t ignore bias. Whether we admit it or not, we all have biases. And it’s a huge problem when it comes to listening. Analysists love to discuss mathematical formulas and measurement in affecting bias; however, most bias (especially in small businesses) is simply human. For example, our most recent experience, preferences, and desires can have a significant impact on what we hear.

Cartoon of two employees sitting across from each other, with the caption "Great leadership is about listening to EVERYONE, not just people who agree with you."

Be willing to hear both sides. It’s important (and frequently imperative) to take risks in order to expand, grow, and adapt. By listening to the real benefits and potential consequences of actions, you may be willing to take more chances. Additionally, this will help you make more informed decisions overall.

Don’t assume people know what you’re talking about. For example, common business terms like Gross Profit, EBITA, Clicks, Conversions, Fixed Costs, and Investment may not be understood by some of the audience.

Be clear and concise. Simplify wherever possible and focus on factors that really affect your presentation. The audience will lose interest if the presentation is too long, complex, or poorly communicated.

Be the expert. If you’re not confident in what you’re saying, you’re more likely to communicate it wrongly or ineffectively. Make sure you know what you’re talking about.

"You can't use reason to convince anyone out of an argument that they didn't use reason to get into."  - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Prioritize openness. Does the listener trust what is being said? And does it cover relevant issues? When we share information openly, we establish a sense of trust.

Actively look for ways to improve. Discuss challenges and opportunities. For example, if miscommunications are happening, find the source of the problem. Is it coming from the presenting side or the listening side? You can then implement supportive strategies.

Understand the audience and diversity. Demographics are affected by age, location, socioeconomic status, race, gender, etc. Current events have certainly affected trends for many minority groups. Staying up-to-date on your target audience, the issues they face, and their habits will help improve your awareness and communication.

"Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking."  - Bernard Baruch

Listening should always be a priority. Understanding the purpose, content, and importance of communication can help you improve outcomes. You should also consider your own listening process. The next time you catch yourself asking someone to repeat their name or find yourself zoning out during a presentation, ask yourself why? Figure out where the communication failed and learn from it. Maybe the speaker wasn’t being clear or maybe you’re someone who needs to take notes or repeat a name out loud in order to retain it. The more you understand your own communication strengths and weaknesses, the better equipped you’ll be to listen and be heard.

Related: Critical Facts That Sometimes Aren’t Considered