A Simple Formula To Develop Empathy

Empathy doesn’t sound sexy, but it’s like still water that runs deep.

It’s like roots of giant trees you wonder how can possibly stand so tall.

And, yet, so few people are actually empathetic.


Because you have never, not ever, had an experience that you were not at the absolute center of.

Every single experience you’ve ever had has happened in front of, behind, to the left, or right of you.

Your thoughts and feelings about those experiences are automatic.

Not automatic as in hardwired-at-birth automatic.

Automatic as in your past-experiences-have-made-your-future-experiences automatic.

Let’s forget the joke about you being the center of the universe and the planets revolving around you.

In a sense, this joke is applicable to everyone, which effectively means it’s not a joke.

Not in a mean way, but in a practical way.

We are all at the center because that’s just the way it is.

You experience automatically.

My experience of the same scene needs to be communicated to you.

My feelings need to be communicated to you.

And even if I did that perfectly, you still wouldn’t be able to know exactly how I feel.

That’s because my current experience (with you) is nuanced by all the other experiences I’ve had. Which, by the way, you haven’t had!

So, how is one to become a better person, better communicator, better at understanding their friends, partners, and spouses?

How does one become better at providing a service or anticipating reactions or so many other desired life and business skills?

You need to stop being automatic.

Easier said than done?


The formula is not hard.

The practice and execution are excruciatingly hard.

So hard that so many give up so easily.

So? So, don’t let that be you!

Watch this video to learn a simple, yet very effective formula for developing empathy!

Related: A Story on Noticing Company Culture