What we think is safe, when it comes to living a live based upon our values, is far from it. This is because, inherently, change isn't safe in the moment because of the risk associated with a future outcome. We can't guarantee that we will: get the promotion, lose the weight, find our soul mate, or, even live another moment. Live is dangerous because we know we will die.
The question then becomes this: What will you do?
Might I suggest something similar to these words?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." ~ Teddy Roosevelt
I cannot imagine many things worse than knowing, at the end of my life, that I wasted it upon things that don't matter. Victory and defeat are the rewards (yes, the rewards) for those brave souls that want to make the most of their lives.
The greatest regrets I have, and my clients over the decades have had, are those efforts in both their personal and professional lives that they did NOT undertake...those squandered opportunities to live out their values when they KNEW what they should do...and didn't do it.
If you decide to do what most will never do, connect deeply and explicitly with your values across your life, you will then be faced with a truly frightening situation: Will you act upon what you most believe is true and virtuous...even though there is no promise that the outcome you most desire will be achieved?!? This is terrifying and is exactly where most people 'throw in the towel' with living an intentional life.
Denial can be a comfortable balm for a season, but, once you know what you believe you will never truly be at peace if you aren't executing upon those beliefs in every area of your life.
Why go forward? Why take the risk of failure? Why suffer the questions and criticisms of those around me and those that don't know me?
Because you are worth it. The only thing you are guaranteed is the choice to live intentionally. This transcends almost all situations and for those that are able to read and comment upon this post is absolutely within your grasp. You possess more opportunity and freedom to live than most humans have ever experienced in the history of humanity.
How to move forward? Here are three steps:
- Write down your values and journal about how they drive/inform the different areas of your life (Spiritual/Intellectual, Relational, Physical and Professional).
- Take an honest look at how you are executing upon those values measurably in those areas and give yourself a score (0-100).
- Pick a simple and measurable daily task, in all 4 areas, that you can complete each and every day (all 7...not just the 'work week') and track your achievement of what we call the Daily Essentials.
For those of you that are willing to take the risk, to leave the false safety of your distraction and denial of how insecure and unfair life actually is, I applaud you and honor your expression of your own unique humanity.
Each and every day I work with the best humans I know: people driven to do the courageous and difficult job of executing a life defined and measured by their values. I do this through individual coaching with high performers that own their own businesses, group coaching with select small businesses and an upcoming (1/4/21) private community coaching experience.
Each and every one of my client relationships begins with a conversation about who you are and what your values mean to you (whether your are an individual or a company). From there, helping you move forward on your quest to live a life of less regret is the greatest gift I can experience professionally. If I can be of help contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.