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Imagine walking into a room and immediately feeling like the person across from you already has an agenda. You can sense it in their tone, their body language, and the way they steer the conversation.
Now think about how that makes you feel.
Guarded? Defensive? Maybe even a little skeptical?
That’s exactly how your prospects feel when you approach them with the mindset of selling.
The truth is, people don’t want to be sold to.
They want to be understood.
And that’s where listening comes in.
But not just any kind of listening.
I’m talking about listening with no strings attached.
Listening without the need to prove yourself or guide the conversation toward a decision.
This kind of listening is rare.
It’s the kind that makes someone feel like they’re the only person in the room.
It’s the kind that builds trust faster than any pitch ever could.
Here’s the thing.
Most advisors think they’re good listeners.
But what they’re really doing is waiting for their turn to speak.
They’re focused on what they’re going to say next, not on what their prospect is actually saying.
And prospects can feel that.
They can tell when you’re not fully present.
So how do you shift from selling to truly listening?
Start by letting go of your agenda.
Don’t worry about where the conversation is going.
Focus entirely on the person in front of you.
Ask questions that show you care about their world.
For example, “What’s been the most frustrating part of managing your finances?”
Or, “What’s one thing you wish you didn’t have to worry about anymore?”
Then, stop talking.
Let them fill the silence.
And when they do, don’t just hear their words.
Pay attention to their tone, their pauses, and what they’re not saying.
This is where the real connection happens.
When someone feels truly heard, they start to trust you.
And when they trust you, they’ll open up in ways they never would have otherwise.
But here’s the key.
You can’t fake this.
If your listening is just a tactic, they’ll see right through it.
You have to genuinely care about their story.
Because trust isn’t built on techniques.
It’s built on authenticity.
So the next time you’re in a conversation with a prospect, try this.
Forget about selling.
Forget about proving yourself.
Just listen.
Not to respond, but to understand.
And watch what happens.
You’ll find that the less you try to sell, the more they’ll want to work with you.
Because at the end of the day, people don’t buy from those who talk the most.
They buy from those who listen the best.
Related: Authenticity Is the New Alpha for Financial Advisors
Ari Galper is the world’s number one authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after high-net worth/lead generation expert for financial advisors. His newest book, “Trust In A Split Second” has become an instant best-seller among financial advisors worldwide – you can get a Free copy of Ari’s book here and, when you click the “YES” button in the order form, you’ll also receive a complimentary “plug up the holes” lead generation consultation. Ari has been featured in CEO Magazine, Forbes, INC Magazine and the Financial Review. He is considered a contrarian in the financial services industry and in his book, everything you learned about selling will be turned upside down. No more chasing, no pressure, no closing.