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There’s a long-standing belief in selling that rapport is the key to closing deals. You’ve heard it before: “If they like you, they’ll buy from you.” But here’s the truth, rapport isn’t what makes the sale.
Trust does.
And trust doesn’t come from small talk or finding common ground.
It comes from something much deeper.
Imagine this, you’re meeting with a prospect for the first time.
You start the conversation with a bit of chit-chat, maybe about the weather or a shared interest.
They smile, nod, and engage politely.
It feels like you’re connecting.
But then, when you transition into discussing their needs, something changes.
They give vague answers.
They hesitate to share details.
And when you present your solution, they say, “Let me think about it.”
What happened?
You built rapport, but you didn’t build trust.
Rapport is surface-level.
It’s about being likable.
Trust, on the other hand, is about being credible.
It’s about showing your prospect that you understand their problem better than they do, and that you’re the person to solve it.
So, how do you build trust?
It starts with shifting your focus.
Instead of trying to connect socially, focus on diagnosing their problem.
Ask questions that uncover the truth of their situation.
For example:
“Can you walk me through what’s been the biggest challenge for you in this area so far?”
This isn’t just a question, it’s an invitation.
An invitation for them to open up and share what’s really going on.
And when they do, listen.
Not just to their words, but to the emotions behind them.
When they sense that you’re genuinely interested in understanding their world, not just selling them something, they begin to relax.
Their guard comes down.
And in that moment, trust begins to build.
Here’s the key, trust isn’t about proving how great your solution is.
It’s about proving how deeply you understand their problem.
When you do this, something remarkable happens.
They stop seeing you as just another advisor trying to win their business.
They start seeing you as a trusted authority who can guide them to the right decision.
And that’s when the sale happens.
Not because they like you.
But because they trust you.
Trust isn’t built through clever techniques or rehearsed pitches.
It’s built through transparency, empathy, and a genuine desire to help.
For example, instead of jumping into a presentation about your services, you might say:
“Before we talk about solutions, can we explore what’s been holding you back from solving this issue until now?”
This question does two things.
First, it shows that you’re not rushing to sell.
Second, it positions you as someone who’s focused on uncovering the truth, not just closing the deal.
When you approach conversations this way, you create a safe space for your prospect to share their real concerns.
And when they feel safe, they trust you.
It’s that simple.
So, the next time you’re in a sales conversation, skip the small talk.
Focus on uncovering the truth of their situation.
Because in selling, trust isn’t just important, it’s everything.
And when you lead with trust, the sale happens naturally.
Related: Stop Losing Deals: How to Revive Sales Talks and Build Unshakable Trust
Ari Galper is the world’s number one authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after high-net worth/lead generation expert for financial advisors. His newest book, “Trust In A Split Second” has become an instant best-seller among financial advisors worldwide – you can get a Free copy of Ari’s book here and, when you click the “YES” button in the order form, you’ll also receive a complimentary “plug up the holes” lead generation consultation. Ari has been featured in CEO Magazine, Forbes, INC Magazine and the Financial Review. He is considered a contrarian in the financial services industry and in his book, everything you learned about selling will be turned upside down. No more chasing, no pressure, no closing.